“Leaving your country will give you a better life. It is not easy, it will never be easy – but here, I am given my real identity and my real gender.
Melanie was born in Iran, but moved to Turkey at the age of 14. She made that move without her family, and without any certainty of what would lay before her after facing persecution simply for being who she was.
“I was very nervous at such a young age. It was difficult when I first came out. It was hard to be around people because they made me feel like I had a problem. It is hard being different so young.”
Melanie remembers noticing that difference at around 6 or 7 years old, and finally understanding that she was a woman at around the age of 10. Without the support of most of her family, and already facing persecution from her community as a teenager, she had to find safety and opportunity elsewhere. Turkey, unfortunately, didn’t provide much security either.
“I thought before I showed up there that it was going to be easy, but it was still very difficult. I had to stay inside and protect myself.”
Melanie had to learn Turkish and find work, all while beginning her transition. Facing the country as a member of the Transgender community and an immigrant was full of barriers. But it was also during that difficult time that Melanie found the courage to tell her mother over the phone who she truly was.
“My mother understood. It was a great thing for me to hear that, and it made me much stronger as a person.”
That support gave Melanie the strength to start creating her own path for her life. She knew that living as a Transgender woman in Turkey was too dangerous, and reached out to the U.N. seeking refugee resettlement. The process was confusing and there were language barriers. But the U.N. officials accepted her for who she was, and that welcoming sentiment just added to her determination.
“They were very good to me, very supportive. You know, because of those people and people like my mother, I realized that I wasn’t different. Different can be negative. I was more. I was special.”
Melanie spent 6 years in Turkey waiting to be resettled until finding out she would be going to live in Chicago, of all places. She didn’t speak English, and the idea of starting over in a new country yet again was nerve-wracking. A sense of loneliness began to swell within her, and Melanie almost considered staying in Turkey.
“Even if it is hard there, at least I know the place. Even if they do not accept me, I would know people there.”
But for Melanie, the strength to endure had already begun to grow within her. Instead of turning back, she took her plane ticket and chose a new future in America.
Waiting at the airport when she arrived were Heartland Alliance refugee resettlement case managers. They greeted her with open arms, and drove her to an apartment that they secured for her arrival. Over the next few months and years, Heartland would help her learn English, find work, and rebuild. She quickly became self-sufficient and has since been able to pay for her own transition surgery, find her own apartment that she likes, and make a new life for herself.
“The people at Heartland Alliance are always ready to help. I’ve been here for 5 years now, and they still help me today pretty regularly. I know I can rely on them.”
Melanie is proud of who she has become today, but life as a refugee who is Transgender is still difficult here in the U.S. She has tried to manage both work and school in order to find a career path, but added language and culture barriers continually force her to double her efforts. As a Transgender person of color, she is also tired of the seemingly LGBTQ-friendly community not accepting her for who she is.
“You know, we say this is an LGBT friendly country, but many still feel uncomfortable to accept Trans people. I am who I am, and I was expecting to see better in people here than from where I came from.”
But Melanie endures because has found the strength to be exactly who she is, even with the constant barriers that this world has thrown her way. And she intends to use that strength to further her own goals and help others achieve the safety and opportunity they deserve.
“I’m strong now, I’ve fought for who I am – and worked hard to become who I am today. As I get older, I learned that I’m not different. Trans people are not different. We are the same people. We are kind, we love people, we deserve love. But we need help and support to do that.”
