Heartland Alliance believes that mental health is imperative for overall health – and good mental health requires access to safety, justice, and economic opportunity. For mothers around the globe, those pillars for success extend to the people they care for. At Heartland Alliance, we support moms through access to housing, trauma-informed care for their children, and support systems as they build a better world for their families.
But when a mother loses their child, the specifics of those needs change. In-depth psychosocial services and wrap-around care is critical for women like Rosalina, a participant with Heartland Alliance International (HAI) in Colombia. After her son disappeared, it was our team of clinicians and social workers who came to her aid.
“In 2012, my son disappeared. He was only 19 years old and his name was Martín. When he didn’t come home, I went around asking our neighbors if they had seen him. One woman told me she saw him walking between two men. After that, there were a lot of rumors – some people said they saw him around town, while others speculated that he had been killed or was being held in the jungle. But today, several years since, I still don’t know what actually happened to my son.” said Rosalina, a participant with HAI in Colombia.
Enforced disappearance is not a crime of the past. It continues in every corner of the world as a tactic of terror and warfare, and in some countries, it is increasing. In Colombia, there is a particularly long and bloody history of enforced disappearances with perpetrators continuing to evade justice.
The uncertainty around cases of enforced disappearances pushes families and friends of victims into an emotional limbo. They tend to alternate between hope and grief, wondering and waiting for news that may never come. They experience slow mental distress, not knowing whether their loved one is still alive and, if so, in what state and under what conditions.
“My pain is overwhelming. It’s a suffocating feeling in my chest that never goes away.” said Rosalina. “I haven’t rested a single day since they took my son from me — nothing makes me feel better, nothing brings me peace. Even though I lost hope of finding him alive, I want to know what happened to him. I want to find his body and bury him myself. I think that’s the only thing that can help me now.”
Through the International Committee of the Red Cross, Rosalina was referred to HAI and connected to mental health and psychosocial support services to assist with her loss. For nearly a decade, HAI has worked to deliver critical services to Indigenous communities and Afro-Colombians, like Rosalina – the same populations that disproportionately experience enforced disappearances. Kelvis Angulo, a psychologist with HAI’s ACOPLE project in Quibdó, has supported Rosalina throughout her journey to heal.
“Rosalina was really suffering when she first came in. She was struggling with severe abandonment issues.” said Kelvis. “Although she formally reported her son’s disappearance, Rosalina never received a clear answer and thus, no closure. Losing Martín altered her life completely. She even lost interest in the activities that once made her happy. HAI’s services have encouraged Rosalina to pick-up her old hobbies again. Now, she is making coconut candies and selling them around town twice a week. It’s a distraction, but it also helps her earn money for her day-to-day expenses. Together, we work on understanding her emotions, accepting reality, and learning to live again.”
“My life totally changed after Martín disappeared. I was lost and my days passed without anything new, without any joy. Learning that there are many people like me who have gone through similar situations gives me strength and encouragement. I used to spend my days waiting for Martín to come home, thinking he was still out there. Now, I only hope to find his remains and go on living in peace with the time I have left.”
Rosalina has been waiting for answers around her son’s disappearance since 2012. In July 2020, nearly a decade later, investigators found a mass grave that may have her son’s remains. Though the process is lengthy and distressing, Rosalina agreed to submit a sample of her DNA for comparison. As she waits, Rosalina recalls memories of her son, Martín.
“I always think of Martín and how he was a loving and good son. He didn’t like school but he was a hard and diligent worker. A mother is incapable of forgetting their child. The last time I talked to Martín was the night before he disappeared. He came home and said, ‘Mom, I’m hungry.’ I had his food ready, like always. The memory of that night never leaves my head.”
